Every deployment is tough! No matter the time difference, the place, the situation or the length of time it’s for.

Just for everyone reading who is not familiar with deployment I mean when military personal get sent away for work for a certain amount of time.

This is my personal story and feelings about the latest deployment we have both had to endure. I say both of us because even though he is the one packing his bags and setting off into the unknown I’m the one being left behind to carry on as normal when the reality is, nothing is normal without him here.

I’d say it was about 3 weeks before we got married when Joe found out there was a possibility he could be on this 3 month deployment coming up that was due to start just 10 days after our wedding, and just 9 days after we had moved into our new house. I’m not going to lie I freaked out, I sat on face time crying my little eyes out, I was scared, I didn’t want to start life as newlyweds on my own but what could we do? We had booked everything for the wedding already and had our hearts set on the date.

The most annoying thing was he was never meant to be on this deployment its only because someone else ‘couldn’t’ go that Joe’s name got picked out of the hat. Joe tried to plea that he would only have just over a week to enjoy the marriage bubble and set up his new home but to unfortunately no luck.  Something I am grateful for though is that we didn’t have a for sure answer that he was going until after the wedding, which meant we both still had hope and were able to enjoy the day without the deployment dread looming over us.

Anyway as the day neared closer we tried our best to enjoy time with each other as well having the stresses of setting up a new home, me starting at a new job, Joe sorting all his kit and packing. It was hard especially when you’re trying to stay positive for them and  yourself, but when really you just want life to swallow you up and spit you out when the whole thing is over with. I did make sure we spent one whole day before he left not thinking or worrying about anything else but just having fun together so that we had that memory to think about. I chose the zoo (Colchester zoo is great and about 5 mins from our house) which I think was the best place to leave all our worries behind, be big kids and have a good day out! 🐘

I had to work the day he was leaving but got back just in time to have some pizza together and say our goodbyes. Everything happened so quickly that when this moment finally came It didn’t feel real,  I knew I had to say goodbye as much as I just wanted to hold onto him and never let go and held in my bodies urge to just breakdown. I watched him walk away carrying 3 months’ worth of stuff, missing him as much as I possibly could already.

The countdown! ⏱

We had 100 days to go at the beginning; it brings me mixed emotions to know that when I’m writing this we only have 21 days left.

I have survived 79 days without my main source of happiness 🙌  (yes I know I am a soppy little thing but that’s what love does to you). My anxiety may not be the best and I have had my fair share of down days but I’m okay, hes okay and It just proves to me that we are such a strong couple and I have found the perfect person to go through life’s challenges with.

For me I knew it was going to get harder the closer to the end we get. You would think it would be easier because your getting closer to seeing them but you’ve also been away from them longer. Time is starting to drag but I’m going to stick to my tips below and get through it!

3 weeks to go I’m feeling incredibly excited to see him I get butterflies every time I think of seeing him walking down the road to our house. I cant wait to enjoy the last of the summer together and then jet off on our honeymoon.

❤️

These are the few things I believe really helped me get through the days a little easier, Nothing is going to magically make you feel better but I found these tips encouraged me stay positive and in a good mind-set.

Tip #1: You’ve got a lot of extra time on your hands so start that one thing you’ve been meaning to do or start a new hobby.

Tip #2: Accomplish a goal you set yourself, whether they are away for 1 month, 3 months or 6 pick a goal you want to achieve by the time they are home and work towards it!

Tip #3: Try and connect with people who are going through the same thing as you – I’ve met some lovely military wives/girlfriends who have supported me and always been there for a chat. The community on Instagram and Facebook is huge so don’t be afraid to message someone because they know how you’re feeling and will not judge you.

Tip #4: Start a journal – write down everything you don’t want to forget to tell your partner about, write down your emotions let it all out on paper.

Tip #5: Try not to argue over text or phone call during the deployment with your other half. You’d think that would be easy ha, sometimes you want take out your stresses at home on them or for any other reason they have annoyed you (men especially are very annoying beings so I don’t blame you) but trust me when I say it will only make you feel worst!

Tip #6: Always have things to look forward to at least one thing a week: a payday treat, lunch with a friend, a trip to see family, an event you saved for or even just dinner from your favourite takeaway.

Tip #7: Send letters and parcels (if you can), put the date at the top of each letter as well as how many days are left and watch the number go down. This goes with always having something to look forward to, receiving something hand written through the post from your loved one whilst they are so many miles away is always a good day.

Tip #8: Plan a few nice things and days out you want to do with them when they get back or if you can book a holiday or a short break away. Having something like that to plan for and knowing your going to be having some amazing quality time together is a great way to stay positive.

Have you been through a deployment and have any tips? Let me know in the comments! ✏️

Thank you if you made it to the end of this blog post! See you in my next one.

📱louisemannion_